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雅思写作范文

2019-12-11 17:19     作者 :    

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  TASK 1

  The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

  Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.


微信图片_20191211171638.jpg

  「审题」

  基于the future projection来看,发生具体变化的地方梳理清楚之后,即可“一把抓”。因此,本文的写作演示,笔者就不“中规中矩”地基于现址写蓝图了。


Rephrasing


「中心区域」

According to the projection, the central area of the sports center is less likely to change enormously, <但是还是有一些细微的变化>except that (表示变化的地方的意群通过特殊句式被“抱”在了一起) the gym is possible to be extended eastwards, and that the entrance hall will be expanded with a sports shop in the western margin and a café in the eastern corner.  <剩下的中心区域的东西都没有变化> Besides, the 25-meter pool, changing room, and seats will remain unchanged.


本段文字“降级”的演示:

According to the projection, most notably, the central area, including the 25-meter pool, changing room, and seats, will remain almost unchanged.  (上段写作演示中的except其实是一种隐性的转折关系提示词,解释了这里的however的转折) However, the gym is possible to be extended eastwards, and the entrance hall will be expandedwith a sports shop in the western margin and a café in the eastern corner.  more accessible in writing logic.


「东西两翼」

<行文结构上的一种由总到分;变化剧烈→ 哪些变化?> Based on theblueprint, dramatic changes will happen to the two outdoor courts on both west and east sides currently. //  <先写西边的court发生了怎么样的变化?> There will be a larger leisure pool, which is irregular in size and replaces the current western outdoor court, with another changing room on the south of it. <再看东边的court发生了怎么样的变化?> The east outdoor court will be removed, and as its replacement, more facilities will be established.  First, a sports hall will occupy most of the site. Second, directly opposite such a new hall, there will be two dance studios separated by a wall. Third, a new changing room will be built in the southeast edge.


「全图概述」

Overall, the sports complex will largely be refurbished, and it will become more versatile with more multi-functional facilities.


  

TASK 2

  

不要进行太多背景信息的铺陈,不要消耗读者的阅读耐心=信息的进展节奏一定要快!→<间接地向读者暗示自己的写作立场=“埋暗线”手法> Dwelling in anexotic country, new immigrants may have a row with the locals. This is a modern-day commonplace. Personally, an array of practical and social issues may ensue from people’s oversea residency.


<先小让一步-承认我们反方观点其实在某些程度上是合理的> Admittedly, people can familiarize themselves with foreign cultures by watching some blockbusters from which they can derive some know-how before their permanent residency abroad. In this case, they are highly likely to pick up several fragments of the local language such as how to send regards. <CC: 代词前指一整句话表达的具体内容> This can be proved well by numerous Chinese tourists flying to Thailand, who can only speak few <形容小词的使用带有自己的情感态度> sentences or phrases like ‘Sawatiika’, which unfortunately does not work at all when real emergencies and even conflicts pop up.  句法功能:其实是一种向自己观点上的转折;其实是在为下一段的反驳段做准备(transitional sentence)


<正式开始反驳的“立论”部分=problems are inevitable>As a matter of fact, in a country where one has to speak a foreign language, hardly can the practical problems be avoided, especially when he or she cannot articulate the words and voice the opinions clearly. Worse still, those illiterate in the foreign language may be unable to understand any signs or written instructions. <elaboration on the above argument = Exemplification> For example, aninarticulate patient may be incapable of describing his or her ownsymptoms with high accuracy, thus failing to receive proper medical treatment. // <weak argument-moderate length = abstract terms – flat language> In addition, due to the lack of proficiency of a foreign language, the way people convey information, the contents they strive to explain, and even the fluency when explaining may render them helpless.  What is worse, they may get trapped in the cultural conflicts due to the incompatible ideologies different languages represent, (CC-关系代词)which possibly incurs fights and even bloodshed.


In conclusion, although there are some plausible remedies for the social and practical threats, the effectiveness can be minimized. The above problems and unpleasant encounters are unavoidable.

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