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sat满分作文点评

2013-09-11 16:15     作者 :    

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  SAT写作真题
 
  1:Are bad choices and good choices equally likely to have negative consequences?
 
  In life there is a consequence for every action. The misconception that only bad choices will bring about costly consequences has proliferated throughout society when it is obvious that good choices are the ones that bring about unfortunate results.
 
  参考译文:在我们的生活当中,每一个决定都会带来某种后果。有种错误观点在社会上特别盛行,即,只有坏的决定才会带来不好的后果。但显然,好的决定也能带来不好的后果。
 
  (点评:开头段引出话题,明确表达自己的观点。)
 
  The aftermath of the Civil War clearly illustrates that even good choices can be costly to a nation. Abraham Lincoln’s decision to go to war with the South in an attempt to save the Union was tough to make but absolutely necessary. Lincoln foresaw that the United States of America had a chance to become a great nation and that a split could only lead to deleterious effects. Therefore, Lincoln made the best decision to wage war for the greater good in the end and because of this choice, America was able to remain united and it prospered. However, the Civil War was costly in terms of the economy and the loss of lives. The civil War is the war in which most American lives were lost in all of American history as a whole generation of men were left on the battlefield. The choice to fight and to save the Union was beneficial in the end but the price was great.
 
  参考译文:美国内战造成的后果清楚表明,即便是好的选择对国家来说也可能是代价高昂的。为了拯救国家,林肯决定对南部发起战争。做此决定非常艰难,但是却是有必要的。林肯预见到美国有机会成为伟大的国家。但是分裂只会带来不利的影响。因此,林肯为了大多数的利益发动战争。由于这个决定,美国得以保持统一并繁荣昌盛。但是,从经济和人的生命角度来说,内战是付出了不小代价的。美国内战是美国历史上死亡人数最多的一次战争。几乎整代男人战死沙场。为了拯救国家而战的决定是有益的,但是代价却是高昂的。
 
  (点评:注意本段不断在点题。从句主题句开始,点题;随后不断强调“林肯做出打仗的决定是正确的,但是代价是高昂的”这个主题。同学们要学习这种写法。不断点题,这样避免写着写着就偏题了。)
 
  In Sophocles’ Greek play, “Antigone,” the heroine’s decision to honor her brother by burying him caused great trouble in Thebes.Antigone lost both of her brothers during an upheaval in Thebes and a law was passed that whomever tried to bury one of the brothers, viewed as a rebel, would be sentenced to death. However, this threat does not frighten Antigone as she ignores it and buries her brother anyway. She only replies when demanded of why was, “I Shall never desert him. Never.” This choice to ignore the law and uphold the moral law to her brother is justified. However, her death causes her fiance to commit suicide which causes the mother of her fiance to kill herself, as well. Three lives were lost just to uphold all that is moral and just in the act of being loyal to one’s family.
 
  参考译文:在索福克勒斯的希腊戏剧“安提戈涅”中,女主人公决定安葬他的兄长,结果在底比斯造成极大的麻烦。安提戈涅在一场反叛中失去了他的两位兄长。当时法律禁止安葬这些反叛分子,违反法律者将被判处死刑。但是这并没有吓退安提戈涅。她置法律于不顾,安葬了兄长。当问到她这样做的原因是,她回答说,我永远不会抛弃他。永远。她选择不顾法律坚持道德准则的做法是有道理的。但是她的死造成她未婚夫的自杀,而这又造成未婚夫母亲的自杀。三条生命因为安提戈涅忠于家人,遵守道德和正义而丧失。
 
  (点评:个人还是更喜欢个例子和论述。)
 
  Consequences are inevitable whether they are foreseen or not. It is those decisions that bring about the greater good that are wise to take in life.
 
  参考译文:后果,不管是否可以预测,都是不可避免的。只有那些为大多数人带来福利的决定才是明智的。
 
  (点评:本段结尾表达自己的观点,只有对大多数人好的决定才是明智的决定。还是表明了作者观点,任何决定都可能带来不可预知的,或者不好后果。)
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