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10月13日托福独立写作真题范文: “你好,可以交个朋友吗?”
2019-10-29 15:21   作者:新航道   阅读量:

  持续推送近期托福考试独立写作范文解析,每篇范文都由专业写作团队编写校对,带你了解最实用的写作范文。写作能力,就是在一点一点的积累中提高的。

  2019.10.13  独立写作题目

  “Which of the following do you think is the best way for a student to make new friends? ”

  1、joining a sport team;

  2、participating in volunteering activities in a community;

  3、traveling


bookmark-education-knowledge-159591 (1).jpg


  写作范文

  审题时注意两点:

  1、不要写着写着就忽略了题目中的to make new friends这一目的。

  2、同时,注意题目里的人群:student

  

  

  【本文立场:选1】

  Introduction

  略

  Body

  Whether the participants are organized in a hierarchical structure decides the likelihood of a friendship between them. ← 中心句之后,两个选项做对比 →  Even in a volunteering program, in which the jobs do not pay, participants’ roles differ by status, and there may be conflict of interest. 接下来回应participants’ roles differ by status → Some of the participants play the leadership role, and others are the subordinates. 层级关系说明白之后,明确说明不易交朋友 →  It is hardly likely that people make friends across the divisions, because superiors often deliberately keep a distance from their associates to build and maintain the authority. In addition,even between people of the same level, the friendship is hardly likely, because jobs may conflict, which is common in the workplace and renders making friends difficult. ← 对于选项2的否定到此结束。

  ← 故意把选项2和选项1的比较拆成两个paragraph写。

  关键优势在于:

  1、避免单个段落冗长和信息过度;

  2、于是后面这一段可以进一步扩充成为篇幅充分的独立段落(这一点尤其重要,因为选项1时我们的选择,需要充分讨论)。→

  By contrast, a sport team, which in a school most likely consists of amateur players, is far more likely to play for recreation and fun and for the same hobby than for a practical work-like result, so there is not conflict of interest. Also, the members are equal individuals, and it is easy to make friends in the non-hierarchy. Take myself as an example, … … 举例部分略。

  接下来比较选项3和选项1的时候,避免在段落分配的结构方面重复上面的论证结构,也就是说选项3和选项1之间的比较就写成一个段落,不要拆开,并且需要压缩篇幅,避免冗长。

  That sport team members meet regularly is another advantage, in contrast with that travelers meet by coincidence, and hardly can people make friends if they rarely meet. 接下来没有道理了,就是举例来论证 → I actually travel quite often, and only a few of the fellow travelers have become friends of mine. Although we, out of formality, added each other as a friend on Facebook, they have been the silent ones in my contacts, or the occasional comments about my updates hardly make us friends. The opposite is the case among my basketball teammates, because we train and play together every weekend, and the weekly assembly creates the chance that we know each other and are sure that we want to be friends.

  Conclusion

  略


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