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托福写作范文解析
2019-11-04 17:10   作者:新航道   阅读量:

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【立场:支持正方】

Introduction

完全可以在第一句话的时候暗示立场: Work-related correspondence may be annoying when they happen on weekends during the time outside work hours. 然后第二句话直接表明立场(于是两句话之间就形成了递进关系的层次渐进):For this reason, companies should prohibit the exchange of such email during those times, and can except that employees become less bothered.


Body

(关注论证方法)


论证方法一:(说理)反证:

不直接论证不发email有什么好处,而是反过来说发email有多讨人厌: A weekend would not be the end of a week if work continues on the two days. The email that discusses work issues is therefore annoying when a week’s work is supposed to have ended before. So is the case with the time outside the office hours on weekdays. 补充说一下,员工本可以用下班时间和周末时间做什么,然后说这个时间如果被占据就很影响状态:The office hours have the particular length for a reason. Employees need the time-off to revive. They may dorecreational activities as distractions or spend time in solitude or quietness. They may as a result perform well the next day. They would otherwise feel tired, jammed or confused the next day if there were work email, which disturb their rest the evening or night before, and would complain about their jobs and employers. The prohibition of emailing is to prevent the complaint orgrievance and will work.

 

论证方法二:说理后举例:

设计段落之间的让步衔接:就算上一个点讨论的情况不发生,仍然有别的情况会发生:Even though email may not be received, workers are still likely to feel anxious without the policy that specifically bans emailing. During a good night or weekend, email may pop up anytime and interrupt the good time. Their leisure or personal time interrupted, most employees are likely to complain. 道理讲完,用例子去佐证道理,例子要吻合于道理: For example, I used to work at a company that has no such prohibitive regulations. As a result, I was constantly annoyed by the email in the early evening at dinner, during the late night just before I was about to sleep, or in a good weekend afternoon when I was reading an exciting book. Having fed up with the intrusion, I quit the job. By contrast, the company I currently work for bans emailing during inappropriate times, and seldom do I hear complaints about being disturbed after work.


可以补充一个让步段落,让论证显得更客观,让读者觉得你是个“讲道理的人”: 

Admittedly, there are a number of other factors, such as low wages,unpromising positions, and poor work environment, contributing to employees’ dissatisfaction, and none ← 通过none实现不在动词处的否定 of those can be resolved by the ban of emailing during weekends. However,


Conclusion

习作(修改 / 示范)

In conclusion, as the policy that no one can exchange emails on weekends andor during other time out of office hours← 全文早就建立起的语境让这个内容显得累赘多余 can make give employees have more time to relax / unwind themselves with a light mood, I hold the opinion believe that the policy can decrease staff’s dissatisfaction with their companies employers beyond doubt ← 避免在句尾赘述拖沓.


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