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庖丁解牛之解读IELTS Band 7 范文

2014-03-18 14:21     供稿单位: 长沙     原创作者:曹欣    

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  如何达到写作6.5 分以上呢?最有效的是学习7分范文。Are you ready? 让 Ada 和你一起crack IELTS writing!

 

  C4T3 的一篇Band 7 的sample:

 

  Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  I agree with the statement that there should be no government restriction on creative artists who express themselves in the way they do and that they must be given freedom for the same. Expression has always been the keynote in a person’s life. It is the result of expression of our thoughts that we are able to communicate. Restrictions on how we present our thoughts is senseless.

  Creative artists play a major role in our society, for the government, old people, the youth or the children . Their works enlighten our minds, no matter it is factual or entertainment based. It deserves that after a day’s work when we want to take some time off for ourselves, we look out for some leisure. For instance, either pleasant music or a family movie soothes the mind. Entertainment give us an overview of a new side of life which every individual respects. There is almost everything good in what is given to us through the media world which is made up of artists.

  On the contrary, sometimes these artists tend to be unscrupulous. They convert rumors into facts and present them before us. This might impair the reputation of some illustrious people in today’s society. On such occasions, certain restrictions are understandable. Nevertheless, we all do know what is right or wrong. Rules and regulations not always are the solution to how artists present their own ideas. Hence it is doltish to be impetuous and the government should enforce alternative ways to control the media.

  Respect for one’s ideas is not only hypothetical but must be practiced. It is through respect that each one of us can be recognized as a unique person in the world. This can be achieved by looking at the bright side of what media, i.e. the creative artists display for us. Not a day can go by when we do not look out for colorful dreams and a beautiful life which we can find either through music, poetry, films, pictures and everything that the creative artists offer us.

 

  Ada 用四项评分标准来解读:

 

  Band 7 的Task Response:

 

  文章的观点明确;要兼顾正反双方面观点;并且回答题目中的所有问题。

  举例:开头段明确提出个人观点来回答问题,“creative artists 的表达自由不应被限制”。并且在第2 和3 段充分论证了正面观点“creative artists 应该自由表达自己观点”和反面“政府应该限制他们”以及合理驳斥方面来支持正面。结尾段重申个人观点,进一步升华。

 

  Band 7 的Coherence and Cohesion:

 

  每段首提出一个明确的中心论点,围绕此句展开论证;始终清晰,并且恰当使用逻辑连接词。

  举例:范文的第2 和3 段均提出明确的观点,并且进行了解释和举例(for instance)。逻辑清晰,衔接词明确,如on the contrary, nevertheless, hence等。

 

  Band 7 的Lexical Resource:

 

  灵活进行同义词替换(如一些不普通的,含义较深刻的词汇);恰当使用贴切词汇。

  举例: 不常见:unscrupulous,illustrious( 替代famous),doltish( 替代stupid), impetuous, hypothetical 等。可多积累这样的词汇,但注意不要堆砌。

 

  Band 7 的Grammatical Range and Accuracy:

 

  准确使用语法;简单句和复合句的灵活使用,即:一篇文章中有简单句和各种从句的综合使用。

  举例:7 分文章不代表没有语法错误,只是比较少:第1 段一句话,is 要改为are;第2 段倒数第3 行,entertainment give 改为gives. 文中的简单句和从句错落有致,比如开头段的who 引导的定语从句和强调句it is…that…. 以及后文的when 引导状语从句和复杂的简单句。

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