From the outset, I was against the idea After all, who would have thought that such an outstanding outcome might be possible? And even if it could be possible, why wouldnt anyone with an ounce of intelligence want to try it? Anyway, this was how I almost came to be in the Guinness Book of Records
It all started when we decided to develop a square watermelon so it would be easier to transport At the outset we drew an outline of the size and shape we wanted, and selected fast growing seed known to output unusual shapes The seeds were planted in an oval pattern around the edge of a former football oval, well known for its fertile soil Many plants grew, and we selected a few young fruit to enclose within a square frame, taking care to also ensure there was an outlet through which we could inject our secret formula for square growth It worked so well that to all outward appearances, we had been successful We then contacted the Guinness people to outline our success, and were invited to visit London with an example of our watermelon output So with an optimistic outlook we boarded the plane for London However, our watermelon collapsed because it was stored next to the oven in the kitchen of the plane All we had left was the outer part—six squares When we tried to put them back together, they would always fall outward, so the Guinness people wouldnt accept our claim that all of the pieces had come from just one watermelon


开始的时候我并不赞成这个主意。毕竟谁会想到这么一个杰出的结果有可能会出现呢?而且如果真有可能，那为什么从来没有任何有一盎司智力的人愿意试试呢?可不管怎么说，我就是这样差点进了《吉尼斯大全》。
 整件事是这样开始的：我们决定开发一种方形西瓜，这样运输起来会更方便。开始我们就我们想要的大小和形状画了个草图，然后挑选了一些生长迅速、能产出异形西瓜的种子。我们把种子成椭圆形地种在以前的一个椭圆形足球场周围，因为这里肥沃的土质小有名气。许多棵瓜秧长了出来，我们选了几个嫩瓜放进一个方形盒子里，同时小心地留出一个出口，以便注射能使其长成方形的秘密配方。一切进展顺利，从所有外表来看我们都已经成功了。随即我们与吉尼斯的工作人员联系，概述了我们的成功，我们被邀请去伦敦展示我们西瓜产品中的一个样品。我们满怀乐观的前景登上了去伦敦的飞机。可是，由于我们把西瓜放在了飞机厨房的烤箱旁边，这个西瓜碎掉了，只剩下外面的皮——六个方块。我们想把它们拼回去，可它们总是往外掉，吉尼斯的工作人员说什么也不相信所有碎片来自同一个西瓜。

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