如何跟你讨厌的人打交道

1. Listen。

　　招：倾听

　　A lot of conflicts are based in misunderstandings, so always make sure you’re getting everything, It can be easy enough to tune someone out when

they annoy you; the trick is to use careful questioning to focus the other person on the topic at hand so they give you what you need and avoid

straying too far. Poor listening leads to misunderstandings that need clarification – which means more time spent with someone you’d really rather not

be around。

　　许多冲突都源自误会，所以，请先确认你领会了对方的意思。在碰到烦人的家伙时，不予理会并不是件难事，不过这里有个诀窍：提问的时候要有的放矢，

以获得所需的讯息，使谈话步上正轨，而不是被扯远了去。倾听不力导致的直接后果就是误会重重，为了消除这些误会，你需要花费更多的时间在澄清事实上，

也就意味着会有更多与“们”共处的时间。

　　2. Repeat everything。

　　第二招：复述

　　Besides the tendency to tune out people you’d rather avoid, our feelings about another person can color our perception of what they’re saying. To

avoid this, repeat back any instructions, questions, or other problems they pose to you to make sure you absolutely understand what they’re saying.

Give them a chance to correct you before you go off half-cocked, sure you know what “that kind of person” wants。

　　当不得不和讨厌的人共事时，除去那种“不由自主地就想忽略Ta”的感觉以外，我们的主观感觉也在左右着我们对对方语义的认知。为了避免这种情况，请在

听到对方的指示、提问或其它任何抛给你的任务时，先把它重复一遍，以确定你已正确领会了对方的意思。在你一知半解地进行工作以前，先给他们一个纠正误

解的机会——这样就可以避免自己出糗了(你很清楚的，他们看你出糗了哦)。

　　3. Keep your cool。

　　第三招：保持冷静

　　It’s tempting to want to argue with people who rub you the wrong way, or to lose it and start pointing out their faults. Don’t do that! Unless they’

re wrong about something that directly and materially affects you, don’t bother – starting a debate or, worse, an argument will only prolong your agony

– and neither of you is likely to change your mind. Save the debates for when you’re with friends whose opinions matter to you。

　　是的，我知道，你有时候总忍不住想和那个冒犯了你的人争执一番，或是干脆爆发出来，一一历数对方的错误。别！除非他们做了什么直接有损你名誉和利

益的事，否则，就让它一边儿去吧。争执和吵闹只会增加你的痛苦——并且，也不会改变你们任何一方的想法。想评理的话，找朋友说去吧，他们的意见才重要

。

　　4. Be clear about boundaries。

　　第四招：界限分明

　　You don’t have to be friends with everyone. Which means you don’t have to do favors for everyone who asks. If someone’s encroaching on your

time, simply tell them, “I’m sure this is important to you but it simply isn’t a priority for me right now. I really need to work on x and not y。” Again,

there’s no need to be mean, just redirect the conversations whenever conversation drifts into areas that aren’t relevant and where you know you’ll be

annoyed。

　　你不需要和每个人都成为朋友。这就意味着：你没必要取悦每一个人。假如有人想占用你的时间，直接告诉ta：“我知道这事儿对您来说很重要，但是现在

我还有别的本职的事儿要做。” 并不是教你变得冷漠无情，我的意思是：每当话题扯远了、或是即将触碰到你底线的这种时候，灵活地再把它扯回来就行。

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