莎翁Hold不住：史上最搞笑的情诗

华盛顿邮报搞了一个诗歌创作比赛，要求写两行押韵的诗，行能多浪漫就多浪漫，第二行能多不浪漫就多不浪漫。快来看看这些搞笑的情诗，顺便学一学地道的英文哦！

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
我的心肝，我的挚爱，我美丽的贤妻，
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
我这辈子就毁在你手里。

I see your face when I am dreaming.
你的容颜依稀入梦境，
That's why I always wake up screaming.
于是我在尖叫中惊醒。

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
善良、聪慧、多情而性感，
This describes everything you are not.
可惜这些你一条都不占。

I thought that I could love no other
曾以为一生只爱你一个，
-- that is until I met your brother.
直到遇见你的二表哥。

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
我渴望你温柔的拥抱，
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
但别把你脸上的面具摘掉。

My love, you take my breath away.
爱人啊，你简直让我窒息，
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
你在哪沾上的一身臭气？