Myth: Every day with your kids should be filled with happiness.

传说：和孩子们在一起的每都是幸福的

Science says: “In the last two decades, the family has undergone seismic cultural shifts, and one such shift is the push to spend more time, and more quality time, with our children,” says Lyubomirsky. But this has led to chronic levels of anxiety, can’t-keep-up perfectionism, and burnout. Research actually shows that there’s a difference between daily levels of happiness and the 10,000-foot view of the joy of having a family. While a number of studies that compare happiness and satisfaction levels of parents and nonparents find that parents are less happy, Lyubomirsky writes that when people are asked about their biggest regrets in life, not having children (or, more children) is bigger than having had them.

科学表明：Lyubomirsky说“在过去的四十年里，家庭有着巨大的文化转移，其中一个转变就是需要多花时间，更多宝贵的时间和孩子们在一起。” 但这也会带来周期性的焦虑、缺失感以及筋疲力尽。实际上研究发现拥有家庭的幸福和日程生活中的小幸福有着本质的差别。一系列的研究发现，在有孩子和没孩子的夫妻之间的幸福满足感中，有孩子的好像不那么幸福。 Lyubomirsky 说如果问人们生活中悔的事情是什么，没有要孩子（或者更多的孩子）似乎比要孩子更容易让人后悔。

Boost your bliss: See the big picture. Adults who looked back on their relationships with their children, suggest you ask yourself: “What are you doing to create lasting, loving relationships with your children when they are 5? 10? or 15?” They advise you see your children providing continuity, meaning, attachment, and greater purpose in life. You should also try to get away from your kids as you can; loving your children isn’t the same as loving parenting, especially when your kids are young.

提升幸福感：目光长远一些，大人们正透过孩子观察着自己的情感关系，你不妨也问问自己，“在孩子5岁，10岁和15岁的时候，你准备做什么来保持和孩子间持久的爱？” 他们会建议你需要给孩子持久有意义的关怀，以及人生中的目标。你也需要时不时远离孩子，爱孩子和爱父母不一样，尤其在孩子还小的时候。