Somebody should have made a documentary about my doctorate defense. It was a disturbance with dividends.My dissertation dealt with how to diversify financial interests and dissipate threats to financial security.No one was looking for me to build a doctrine to live by and no one was looking for me to have had divine inspiration.They just wanted me to be done and gone.In total disregard of the seriousness of the situation,I decided to distill a little lesson in reality into the lives of my professors and try to shorten the time of this usually long exam.

During the answering of typical defense questions I pretended to be distracted, diverting my eyes from those of the professors.When this began to disrupt some of the questioning I suddenly threw myself on the ground and pretended I was having a heart attack.I distorted my face,made funny sounds, and distilled fear into the minds of the professors.As I suspected,none of them reacted.

Suddenly I stopped,stood up and, pretending I was dizzy, fell into my chair like a boat docking too quickly.I then immediately began talking very fast about the strengths and key points of my dissertation.Amazed by the diversion and my miraculous recovery,the professors had no more questions.They thought I was insane.

When I finished talking,no one had any words of dissent,all agreed that my work was wonderful,and my defense was finished in the shortest amount of time ever in the University.News of my act disseminated quickly and other doctoral students began to come to me for ideas about how to get out of THEIR defense! I even charge a 50 consulting fee!Did I say that I am still seeing dividends?

记单词

disregard 不理会，漠视n.忽视，漠视

disrupt 使中断，扰乱

disseminate 散布，传播

dissent 意见的分歧; (from)不同意，持异议

dissertation 专题论文，学位论文

dissipate 消散，消失; 使消散，使消失; 浪费，挥霍

distort 歪曲，曲解; 扭曲，使变形; 变形

distract 转移(注意力)，使分心

disturbance 扰乱，打扰; 骚乱，混乱; 心神不安，烦恼

diversify (使)不同，(使)变得多样化

diversion 转移，转向; 消遣，娱乐; (修路时的)临时绕行的路

divert 使转向，使改道(或绕道); 转移，转移…的注意力; 使娱乐，使消遣

dividend 红利，股息; 回报，效益; 被除数

应该有人把我的博士学位答辩拍成纪录片。那是一场回报颇高的混乱。我的学位论文探讨如何使经济利益多样化及如何消除对财务安全的威胁。没有人期待我靠建立一种主义过活，也没有人期待我有天赐的灵感，他们只希望我完事走人。我完全不顾当时气氛有多严肃便决定使教授们的生活从现实中吸取一些教训，试图让这一通常耗时很长的考试速战速决。在回答一些典型的答辩问题时，我假装有些心不在焉而且转移目光不看教授们。当这种做法开始中断一些提问时，我突然倒在地上假装心脏病发作了。我使脸变形、发出一些怪声音，弄得教授们心生恐惧，结果不出我所料，他们谁也没有做出反应。我突然停下来，并起身装着有点头晕，接着又像一条靠码头靠得太快的船一样瘫坐到椅子里。然后我马上开始以很快的速度介绍我的论文的优点及要点。教授们被我的转变及神奇的康复惊呆了，他们没有再向我提问题。他们认为我有点神经失常。我讲完之后，大家没有半点意见分歧，他们都认为我的论文棒极了，我的答辩也就此结束，所用时间之短堪称学校之最。有关我的表现的消息很快传开，其他博士研究生开始向我讨教，学习如何顺利通过他们的答辩!我甚至还收取了50美元的咨询费!我是否说过我现在仍然觉得收获挺大?

新航道国际教育集团提供专业的雅思培训、托福培训、GRE培训、SAT培训、剑桥青少英语培训等英语培训，帮助广大学子“用英语点亮人生”。