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成都雅思培训:5月11日雅思大作文解析

2019-05-20    浏览:78     来源:新航道官网
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每次雅思考试后,成都雅思培训老师都会分享一下本次雅思作文,教大家如何审题、解析。5月11日雅思大作文题目:Most of the world’s problems are caused by overpopulation.To what extent do you agree or disagree?遇到这类作文同学们该怎么写呢,一起来看看!

一、审题

What are the problems?

1. depletion of resources

2. massive production of rubbish / manufacturing to meet the need of consumption → polluted air and water

3. short supply of land → unfriendly housing price and congested roads

4. way too many contestants / replacements → stressful workplace...(一定还有许多)

我们立刻发现“同意”明显好写。

二、高分范文

The world suffers [动词带有“评价”色彩,这里选用“负评价”动词] from many problems. Most of them are attributed to the excessive size of population [主题词汇overpopulation的替换]. 

当然可以写成陈述形式的句子,但是,措辞的“花样”在于:用虚拟语气写:To begin with, if there were not a population of this current size, humans would not need to exploit the great deal of resources to meet the immense needs. Therefore, it is fair to attribute the depletion of resources to overpopulation. [注意行文脉络:如果写土地资源,就是新写一个问题,而如果写生产就是一种“顺延”:从资源到生产] Also because of the enormous size of population, manufacturing has to be intense, and while it produces usable products, it produces the undesirable by-products – sewage, gas, and landfill refuse. Thus, it is fair to trace the root of the problem of pollution back to overpopulation.  [土地问题和交通问题太直接,如果继续在这个段落里写,有可能就写成流水账。所以不在这个段落里写,而后移到下一个段落:主要写“社会性”问题]

[注意段落直接的衔接] Not only does overpopulation cause [留意这里的倒装现象] the above immediate problems, it also has the following impact on our society. In many countries and areas, land can no longer accommodate the large populations, and, as a result, the housing price is unfriendly and stressful. Nor does the land have the space for the colossal volumes of traffic, and the consequence is that people are always in a bad mood as they are constantly stuck. The stress extends to the workplace. [“短句”法,控制信息的节奏] The large population means a large number of contestants for jobs. In this overpopulated society, finding a job is not easy, and keeping one is also difficult because employers can always find replacements among the large population. It follows that many of social problems also result from overpopulation. 

The world has many problems. In light of the above, I am certain that most of those problems are the result of overpopulation. 

以上就是成都雅思培训对5月11日大作文的解析,有帮助到大家吗?如果大家觉得雅思写作很难,可以报一个专门的雅思写作培训班,而成都新航道是你不错的选择,详询在线客服关于雅思培训的事宜。

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