
应对
Some people believe that nowadays students can learn more from the Internet than from their teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
这个题目
学生在主体部分某段落有一句话写道:
Despite so many pieces of information on the Internet, much of them are not well organized or even unreasonable, so it takes students a lot of time and energy to arrange them and extract useful content.
比较于教师修改后的句子:
Although the Internet provides abundant information, much of the information is unorganized or doubtful, and organizing and verifying the information may take too much of students’ time and energy.
* 修改后的句子更顺畅(说法叫“语流”)。
* 修改后的句子中的用词更准确或者更合理:abundant、unorganized、doubtful、organize、verify、too much。发现了么?重点在于:一)用来描述关键行为的动词;二)用来对关键概念给出评价的形容词。
* 修改后的句子在表达“负面评价”的用意上因为选词的合理而更成功:unorganized、doubtful、too much。
★ 小总结 ★
* “语流” 是个微妙的东西,但是对读者的阅读感受影响是相当大的。
* 选词时,要注意选用更有意义细节的词汇。当然,首先需要足够量的活跃词汇。