应对
Some people prefer famous brands of clothing, cars and other items. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
这个题目
学生在主体部分某段第 一句写了下面这句话：
When facing a variety of products, well-known brands become some people’s first option since brands usually stands for its quality and advancement, having longer years of accumulations and researches.
修改后如下：
When consumers are facing a variety of products, well-known brands are some’s first choice, as they, with years of production experience, are sold on better practicality and durability.
原文两处分词短语结构，分别充当时间状语(facing a variety of products)和原因状语(having longer years of accumulations and researches)，但facing句的逻辑主语“people”和主句主语“brands”未保持一致，having句原因状语成分置于句末(位于句首更符合用语习惯)。
调整后，为时间状语添上主语consumers，设置with复合结构作原因插入在句中。
since通常表已知的原因，句子重心放在主句上，因此调整成as引导的原因状语，侧重点偏移至所分析的原因上。
advancement /晋升，用词不准，修改为practicality and durability实用性和耐用性
be sold on 以…为卖点
小总结
观点论证中，明确句子的侧重点也很重要，句子成分轻重颠倒的话更会句不达意，论证的力度就相应弱了。
