The short passage:
8. The following appeared in the editorial section of a corporate newsletter:
"The common notion that workers are generally apathetic about management issues is false, or at least outdated: a recently published survey indicates that 79 percent of the nearly 1,200 workers who responded to survey questionnaires expressed a high level of interest in the topics of corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs."
Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.
Since the recently published survey indicates employees’ interest in corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs, the author concludes that employees are concerned about management issues. This argument tends to be flawed in several aspects. (简单利落的开头).
It is encouraging to hear there are 79% of workers who show interest in the topics in questionnaires （关于量的讨论应该驾轻就熟了）. Yet, only 1,200 workers responded to the survey, the number of which might account for a small proportion of the overall number of employees. The percentage of 79%, thus, could not be overwhelmingly the majority. Namely, the representativeness of the 79% of staff could only be achieved when the overall number of them is small （可适当给出使得argument成立的假设条件）.
Another flaw is more apparent. This survey aims to examine employees’ apathy about management issues. However, it is commonplace that those who are apathetic would not respond to any survey (测试冷漠程度的调查，冷漠的人不会参加). The 1,200 respondents are likely to be ones who have been interested in company issues for long. Therefore, the samples selected should stem from the general employees rather than a certain group. The overall picture of apathy among staff is possibly distorted without involving all of them into the survey （这一段与上一段有相似之处，因此要注意区分表述细节，语言清晰度尤为重要）.
The last flaw is that the author presents a general idea based on impartial evidences (以偏概全). The survey is evaluating employees’ attitudes towards corporate restructuring and redesign of benefits programs. This is unlikely to involve management issues as a whole （短句子写清楚了比逻辑诡异的长句子更容易得分）. Namely, it is of probability that employees are unconcerned about other management issues. It is too hasty to conclude staff is interested in management issues.
Conclusion
(略)
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