2020年10月24日｜托福独立写作真题解析

 Introduction 

Under such a competitive society in every aspect, people are desperate toout-compete the counterparts especially for a job. Compared with the common way either turning to acquaintance or looking for wanting advertisements, directly sending a personal statement is more pragmatic.

Ø 开头段：介绍背景信息之后，稍微注意对题目信息的同意替换避免重复

 Body 

Initially, friends or relatives are unfavorable source for job searching. The main reason is because the information they provide is restricted to their own fields and hardly can the desired kind be included.【一两句解释中心句的观点】 For example, a friend working in financial company may be competent enough to offer me the job-related news from her base. If my dream were about getting into the school as an English teacher, he or she would have nothing helpful for me. Although she may try all her social network to get something useful, it should be acknowledged that this is only to a very lean extent. More specifically, the message is actuallysecond-hand, unreliable due to the several rounds of conveyance.【重点给出符合中心论点的例子】

Ø 先否定其中一个不选项

Instead, writing a letter with clear objects is more ideal for getting the work. Unlike that from friends, no ambiguous information would emerge in the contact to the company since every piece is reliable and authentic. Moreover, it is not a one-way communication; the sparkling points of the job applicants are able to be included in the letter as a way to promote oneself. The detailed and targeted introduction can impress the employers, which enables a higher opportunity when deciding the candidates.【注意这里的说理进行了一个递进】 I have successfully got the job of sales manager via bravely sending the emails to one leading company. The interviewer, later, explained why he chose me to do the job and this all thanks to the letter in which my merits are meticulously displayed. This, greatly, outshines me from other applicants.【同样与上一段进行对称给出另一个例子】

Ø 上下两段进行了选项间的比较

Also, letters avoid the insidious risks emerging in advertisements. Prevalent as job posts are, they, to a large extent, are prone to modify their positions in offered salary or required duty. Sometimes, this information will even be exaggerated in order to appeal to and lure more job hunters. Worse, the wrongdoers would take advantage of this to fraud the innocent graduates. There are so many cases about scandals resulting from fake description of job vacancy, which is seldom seen in mailing.【之前的例子足够了，这里避免重复只用说理】 

Ø 再利用上一段的信息与这一段进行第二次比较

 Ending 

In a nutshell, ways may vary in finding a get or getting the position but the most efficient one is only through mailing with ideal company.

Ø 点明主题明确观点