「Task 2」
Once children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than parents do.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
[Introduction]
Before the school age, children stay at home and learn mostly from their parents. Once they start school, parents’ influence decreases while teachers’ role [措辞: 学会小词大用，不要写什么“功能”、“效用”] increases. In other words, children’s intelligence and sociability depend on schooling. [措辞: 故意抽象名词化了，增加LR分数]
[Body Para.1]
Teachers are more experienced than parents. à [纵向的行文展开，先给宏观概念再去慢慢细化] The experience is the advantage that parents may not have, which enables the teachers to be the greater influence. [然后继续细化解释] A parent may be a parent for the first time, and a teacher may be a teacher for a long time, which means that the teacher has been dealing with so many children for so many years. They may therefore possess skills and techniques that are more effective to enlighten children and to build children’s character. [论证手法的多样性: 对比一下] By stark contrast, the lack of the experience and theconsequent lack of skills constrain parents’ influence. [措辞: 注意到了么，没有平行写了递进]
[Body Para.2]
Children learn from people with whom they spend most of their time. They learnthe people’s way of thinking and adopt the people’s values and worldview.[然后解释上一句话] In other words, children’s intelligence and character depend on how the people from whom they learn think and behave. à [烘托了半天终于出来了核心信息点] Teachers are exactly the people, since they are with children for the whole day, and parents are not because they are not present until the evening. [本段写作演示为典型的“横向”行文展开]
[Conclusion]
At this point, the conclusion is crystal clear. Although parents are significant to the growth of children, teacher’s influence is more than that of parents. This is because teachers have more experience and more time to stay with children.
PS: 就这么结束了是么？天地有大美而不言，四时有明法而不议，万物有成理而不说。是的，简约质朴曰之大美。
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